


The path I fear to tread

by moya



Series: Purple [4]
Category: Glee, X-Men (Movies)
Genre: And Blaine is a douche in this one, Burt Hummel is my homeboy, Crossover, Empathy, Even though he feels bad about it afterwards, Kurt is somewhat of a bad-ass, Kurt's and Britt's powers meld, M/M, Not a crack fic, Psychic Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-26
Updated: 2012-11-26
Packaged: 2017-11-19 14:57:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/574530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moya/pseuds/moya
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>"It was Blaine. Blaine, with his perfectly styled hair, his perfect navy blue coat, and sharply pressed pants and full mouth. Blaine, with the neon-red banner standing to the side, shouting things. Blaine, with a tall blonde clinging to his arm."</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	The path I fear to tread

 

 

Kurt didn’t _really_ intend to go in.

He had been standing outside the Worthington labs for more than forty minutes now, shrugging deeper and deeper into his coat in futile attempts to get some warmth and observe the crowd.

People were divided into two huge groups; one of them waiting to get inside the company building, and the other closed off from them by thick line of police cars and officers on duty. They carried banners and megaphones and were shouting things - things that no self-respecting citizen would say to another person.

In the forty minutes that he had been standing in his spot, carefully hidden in half-shadows from anyone who happened to look his way, Kurt had learned a lot of things about himself from those people.

Apparently, he was an abomination and affront to God. He had no morals and respected no rules, and instead of waiting to be cured, he should go to a nearest bridge and jump, sparing the good citizens the trouble of trying to fix his devious nature.

When the first news about the cure came out, his initial thoughts were full of hope and relief - he could finally be rid of the burden of his genetics. That meant no more headaches when his barriers threatened to break, no more incidents of others getting freaked out or angry, because of his own transmitting emotions. No more waiting in the panic room, hoping that Professor Xavier would be back early from the meeting in Washington so he could help him reign in his own crumbling mind.

Then, fate decided it would be entertaining to have him see into the memories of Erik, and the reality of what was really happening came clear to him - they couldn’t be killed off, since that wouldn’t be ethical. Oh no, they would just make sure that mutants were promised a better tomorrow and a cure for all their troubles if they just went in quietly and willingly. No one thought about what would happen later. That they would be at risk of passing their genes on and the next thing they knew there would be breeding laws in place. Or maybe, if not enough of them accepted the cure, _normal_ people would stop bothering with being nice and just flat out send them to ghettos.

A bottle was tossed towards the mutant group over the heads of the police. Kurt held his breath, suddenly afraid of the riot that would start any second after the bottle hit the opposite group. Thankfully, one of the mutants apparently had a gift of telekinesis, as the bottle stopped midair and then drifted gently towards the ground, controlled by the invisible force. Instead of settling things down though, the blatant show of power seemed to only anger the protestors even more.

Kurt was about to leave, sick enough with the swarming emotions that pressured him from every direction at once, but at least it wasn't painful. He didn’t know all those people, so their emotions had no context to him; more like faint buzzing of swarm of bees - organized and chaotic at the same time, but the sound itself was harmless. Still, staying for any longer threatened to weaken his barriers, and the last thing the agitated crowd needed was an empath projecting their own anger back towards them.

He turned, fully intending to go back to school and forget about everything as quickly as possible, but a flash of deep, dark blue caught his eyes and he stopped. Kurt had to do a double take, because he was sure his eyes started to suddenly play tricks on him.

It was Blaine.

Blaine, with his perfectly styled hair, his perfect navy blue coat, and sharply pressed pants and full mouth. Blaine, with the neon-red banner standing to the side of protestors shouting things. Blaine, with a tall blonde clinging to his arm.

Logan told him once he had to let his past go, at least as much as he could, otherwise you would just go crazy with thinking over different scenarios, wondering endlessly about things you could have done differently and that it was too painful to dwell on past events for the rest of your life. He, of all people, probably knew what he was talking about, having his past torn away from him and never fully figuring out who he was. But, Kurt still remembered - it was barely two years ago that he was betrayed and hurt so deeply, like no one had ever hurt him before. He suspected Logan was right though. He had Puck now and the past was past. He should show that he was better than the ones that hurt him and just forget everything.

But, he was not that good of a man. He didn’t know how to let it go.

“Well, this is a coincidence, if I have ever seen one,” Kurt stood slightly to the right and back of the shouting couple, who were - thankfully - located at the back of the group of protestors. If push came to shove, Kurt wanted to be sure he could get away fast. He wasn’t above running away to save his hide.

Blaine turned quickly and Kurt would have burst out laughing at the sight of his panicked face, if he was only in the mood for joking.

“Kurt,” His name on Blaine’s lips still sounded somewhat raspy and once Kurt would do anything to hear him say his name like that, but that time was long gone now. “What are you doing here?”

“Blaine?” The blonde interjected when Kurt didn’t answer and they just ended in something resembling a staring contest.” Is he your friend?”

“No.” Blaine replied quickly.

“Something like that,” Kurt replied with a smile in the exact same time. “We used to know each other when we were going to the same school.”

“Oh, that’s nice,” She smiled and Kurt felt a pang of hurt - she had a really nice smile. It even seemed sincere enough. “I’m Jessica, but everyone just calls me Jess.” She offered her hand, one arm still wound tightly over Blaine’s bicep and Kurt took it, shaking it lightly.

“Pleasure to meet you,” Kurt smiled back and in a brief moment he stretched his mind towards hers, reading her like an open book. He brushed over her, so very gently so to not alert her to his presence, deciphering her emotions. There was a lot of bright sincerity inside there, some velvet cheerfulness and a fair amount of warmth and good intentions. Kurt dropped her hand and reigned himself back in. She actually seemed very nice and Kurt instantly regretted what he was about to do.

“So, Blaine,” Kurt said with fake cheerfulness. “I see you’re still as strong-minded as ever about this whole mutant business?”

If looks could kill, Kurt would definitely be feeling that one right then.

“If you’re referring to that time that I told you I think they are unnatural and I wouldn’t want to even look at one, then yes, I guess I still haven’t changed my mind.”

Ouch.

“No, I didn’t think you would,” Kurt shrugged. “But isn’t a picket line a little bit of a strange place for a date?”

He felt a distant prickle of anger coming from Blaine and curiously, he carefully stretched his empathy towards the other boy, only to recoil at the feel of ugly bitterness and anger inside him, entwined with disgust and hate so intense it almost burned him.

“Well this is awkward,” Jess quipped, trying to brighten up the tense atmosphere that was suddenly created around them. “I thought you guys were friends?”

“We were acquaintances,” Blaine smiled towards her, a kind of indulgent smile and so full of shit that Kurt was wondering why Jess really didn’t see right through him. Blaine was not that good of an actor. “We never really had anything in common.”

“Funny,” Kurt smirked putting his hands into the pockets of his coat and rocking on his heels just a little. “I don’t remember you thinking like that when we were discussing best covers of _Vogue_ or when you were learning by heart my favorite coffee order. I certainly don’t recall you saying that when you had your hand around my cock.”

Hah. Jackpot.

“What?!” Jess actually jumped up a little, her hand slipping instantly from Blaine’s arm as if she was burned. Kurt could feel her shock and confusion and he was genuinely sorry for causing her pain. She didn’t seem like the kind of person who deserved to be treated that way.

“Oh?” Kurt raised his eyebrows. “He didn’t tell you?”

“I suggest that you shut up,” Blaine was seething. “If you know what’s good for you.”

Oh, that had hit the sore spot.

“If I know what’s good for me?” Kurt hissed and made a small step forward, actually getting in their faces. “I know that betraying me once you got into my pants was _not_ good for me. Or abandoning me when I needed you the most. All that talk about courage and how out and proud you were and about being bullied, it was just a bunch of bullshit to get laid, wasn’t it?”

Blaine was red in the face and Jess was doing quite good impression of a fish pulled out of the water. Kurt felt like an ass, but he wasn’t backing down now.

“Here, let me show you.”

Before either of them could react, Kurt’s hands snapped forward and grasped them by their wrists.

Blaine’s sound of protest seemed to freeze in his throat and Jess actually gave a small whimper, not loud enough to get attention of their fellow protesters. A swarm of images and emotions came over them. He showed them everything - the pain he felt and the terror that shook him to the core when he woke in the hospital after hurting Azimio and Karofsky. The isolation that he fell into afterwards, the futile tries to reconnect to Blaine, who seemed like the last line of defense before insanity fully grasped him. He showed them the hate he felt today from the crowds and how terrible it made him feel, like he was some kind of lowlife who fed on welfare of others. He showed them soldiers attacking them at night and how it felt to have his mental barriers broken and unable to heal - the deep, consuming pain of being a conduct of emotions for dozens of people, each one of them as hurt and panicked as he was. He showed them how it felt like to have his mind turn onto himself, the searing blindness of synapses burning in his brain under the pressure of empathic input.

Kurt released them from his mind’s hold as quickly as he grabbed them, taking a cautions step back when the bond between them broke. It always made him feel a little off balance.

“I am a mutant, Jess,” he said gently, softly, as if it was meant only for her ears. She backed up a step, eyes widening, still in shock because of what he inflicted upon them. “I am a victim of genetic alteration that I had no influence over and you hate me for it.” He turned to Blaine, who looked sick. Unlike with Jess, Kurt didn’t pull any punches when he showed him how much his betrayal hurt. “I needed you so much and you didn’t even feel like telling me to get out of your life in person; you did it over a text,” Kurt snorted, though he wasn’t feeling particularly cheerful at the moment. “But guess what? I didn’t crawl away and die, because I still had people who wanted me in their lives. I have someone who fought for me when you turned out to be a pretty lousy human being. And I still have my powers. So if you know what’s best for _you_ , I suggest you educate yourself, you arrogant, selfish, self-centered prick.”

Kurt turned on his heel and left, leaving the two of them on the outskirts of the crowd of protestors. He could hear the sound of Blaine finally loosing the fight with nausea and smiled in satisfaction.

 

************

 

Puck was plucking absent-mindedly at the strings of his guitar and listening to Rachel and Tina chattering about one boy-toy actor or the other while Brittany braided Mercedes’ hair into tiny braids when they heard the sound of door being slammed forcefully. It took them a second to take the fact in before they were engulfed into wave of anger and despair, all of them suddenly feeling like punching a wall or - even better - another person.

“What the hell is this?” Mike made a pained face from his spot on Puck’s bed where he was browsing a gaming magazine.

“Hurricane Hummel is my best guess,” Mercedes sighed and then winced when Britt pulled on her hair too hard. “Girl, you do that one more time and I am prepared to go ghetto on your skinny ass.”

“Calm down ‘Cedes,” Rachel rolled down from her spot on the bed and stood gracefully, all in one quick move. Puck was almost willing to bet she had practiced that before. “Should we go see what that’s about?”

When the group made it downstairs the sound of barely-there cursing and increasing amount of anger as they approached led them to the music room. Kurt was pacing inside, a good amount of worry and anger radiating off him in almost-visible wave.

“Whoa, heavy,” Tina gasped when Kurt gave a half-hearted kick to one of the lounge chairs.

They didn’t really dare to go forward past the door frame and actually enter the room. They learned long time ago that ganging up on Kurt when he was in particularly emotional state wasn’t the best idea - neither for them, nor for Kurt. When that happened they were affected by whatever emotion he was channeling at the moment and Kurt just ended up with burned out shields. The empath still wasn’t the best at managing his barriers, even though he had gotten much batter at it during his stay in the school.

Kurt had finally decided pacing wasn’t going to bring him any relief and just slumped down at one of the piano benches, head hidden in his arms while he sprawled somewhat inelegantly over the instrument. The piano keys gave an ugly sound under the abuse, but Kurt didn’t seem to notice.

Rachel was the first one who took a hesitant step into the room and the rest of them followed suit when she wasn’t slapped down with the pressure of empathic wave that the boy gave out. They made it to more or less the center of the room when Kurt raised his head and looked at them, bleary-eyed.

“Come in guys. I’m not going to freak out on you,” He admitted, turning his gaze towards the piano keys and pressing a couple of them, creating a simple melody from a couple of sounds. “Shields are still up.”

As if that was some kind of secret password they all moved forward, Rachel and Mercedes quickly claiming spots on the bench, on both sides of the empath. Tina and Brittany sat by his feet while Mike sat cross-legged on one of the lounge chairs. Puck chose to remain standing and leaned over the piano.

No one really said anything for a while, allowing Kurt to gather his thoughts before he could share what bothered him so much. Kurt still didn’t look at them, instead choosing to place both of his hands on the keys and starting up a familiar melody.

_I heard that you're settled down_   
_That you found a girl_   
_And you're married now_

_I heard_   
_That your dreams came true._   
_Guess she gave you things_   
_I didn't give to you_

_Old friend_   
_Why you so shy?_   
_Ain't like you to hold back_   
_Or hide from the light_

Kurt’s voice wasn’t as variable as Adele’s, but he still could achieve pretty impressive lows as easily as he went into the range of the soprano. While he sang they could feel the deep sadness that rolled off him and affected them as well, though not as strongly as it did before.

_I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited_   
_But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it._   
_I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded_   
_That for me it isn't over_

Kurt’s voice trembled a bit as he went on, his eyes shining with unshed tears. The sadness evolved into shame and regret and Puck shivered at the intensity of it. He didn’t like it at all, Kurt feeling that way. It reminded him way too much of the scared teenager the empath had once been, shortly after his powers manifested and he transferred to Xavier’s academy.

_Never mind_   
_I'll find someone like you_   
_I wish nothing but the best for you too_   
_Don't forget me, I beg_   
_I remember , you said:_   
_"Sometimes it lasts in love_   
_But sometimes it hurts instead."_   
_Sometimes it lasts in love_   
_But sometimes it hurts instead._

Rachel joined in with Kurt on the piano, her fingers taking swiftly over half of the keys when the soprano missed a note or two. Puck couldn’t really blame him for the imperfections - it was clear to everyone in the room he wasn’t really focusing on the music, or that he wasn’t even singing for them.

_You know how the time flies_   
_Only yesterday_   
_It was the time of our lives_   
_We were born and raised_   
_In a summer haze_   
_Bound by the surprise_   
_Of our glory days_

_Never mind_   
_I'll find someone like you_   
_I wish nothing but the best for you too_   
_Don't forget me, I beg_   
_I remember, you said:_   
_"Sometimes it lasts in love_   
_But sometimes it hurts instead."_

Kurt’s voice got quieter and quieter and Rachel slowed down the music to almost nothing. Tears were strolling down Kurt’s face and Mercedes grabbed his hand tightly, joining him in on the lyrics and trying so hard to send him all the positive emotion she could find in herself.

_Nothing compares_   
_No worries or cares_   
_Regrets and mistakes_   
_They are memories made._   
_Who would have known_   
_How bitter sweet this would taste?_

Puck knew the song and expected at least another round of chorus, but apparently Kurt didn’t have it in him to sing anymore and leaned heavily on Mercedes’ shoulder, tears still coming on strongly. Rachel wrapped her arms around one of his, her expression worried.

“Boy, what on Earth happened?” Mercedes wasn’t used to seeing her best friend shaken like that - he was usually calm and collected and pretty damn witty - at least when he wasn’t on an empathic freak-out, but she long ago told him his ‘episodes’ didn’t count. Seeing him like this was unnerving.

Brittany looked a little weepy herself, but Puck didn’t know if it was the emotions that Kurt was projecting or her own reaction at seeing someone hurting. She wrapped a delicate hand over the only part of Kurt she could reach, which ended up being his ankle, and was relieved when Kurt looked at her over Mercedes’ shoulder, giving her a shaky smile. Her own healing ability always made him feel a little bit better when his emotions were on haywire. Ms. Grey once told him that it was caused by her powers interlacing with his own brain and something changing throughout brainwaves, but he wasn’t really listening back then.

“I did something really stupid,” Kurt finally found strength in himself to look at Puck and he seemed so miserable and lost that Puck kind of wanted to shake him, only to get him out of that state.

Kurt looked around at his worried friends and wiped his eyes slowly.

“Could you guys give Noah and me some space? I don’t think I am ready to share it all, not just yet.”

“But you’re going to be okay?” Mike asked, picking nervously at a cuticle.

“I will,” Kurt nodded. “I think.”

“Call us if you need anything?” Tina was already gathering herself up from the floor, stretching her hand to Brittany to help her up.

“Sure.”

It took them several moments to get out of the room, everyone casting him worried looks, but he gave them a small smile to reassure them.

“So,” Puck straddled the now vacant spot on the bench, sitting so he was facing Kurt’s side. “I covered for you so no one noticed you sneaked out.” He noticed how Kurt winced when the truth came out. “Mind telling me where you were, since it’s my ass on the line now too?”

Instead of answering Kurt leaned forward slightly, resting his forehead on Puck’s collarbone and sighed, closing his eyes.

“I hurt someone just because I wanted them to be hurt, not because my powers slipped,” He choked out. “What does that make me if not one of the mutants that should be given the cure weather they wanted it or not?”

Puck looked through the huge window at the gardens outside and the younger kids playing basketball in the court.

“I think we all had moments when we used our powers in the way that others would not approve. Yours just happens to be more direct, connected to living beings,” Puck shrugged, turning ever so slightly so he could nose at Kurt’s soft hair, inhaling the herbal shampoo scent and pressed a soft kiss against his temple. “If you regret what happened then I guess that’s fine. Not like we have laws or police to say something about it anyways.”

“That’s the thing.” Kurt hiccuped. “I don’t think I regret it.”

“Tell me.”

Kurt did.

 

************

 

It had been a couple of weeks since the incident at Worthington Labs and things were pretty much back to normal. Cure was voluntary, laws that threatened mutants didn’t pass and Magneto was powerless. Kurt felt a pang of regret at the thought, knowing full well what his powers meant to Erik and how it used to be the only thing keeping him alive in the past.

Kurt got a call from his father inviting him to dinner, just the two of them out at some fancy restaurant. No occasion, Burt said, just celebrating that they were both alive and well. Kurt could use a distraction and even a couple hours of a car ride would not put him off.

Burt greeted him in the doorway with a fierce hug that almost cracked his ribs and the empath could feel how happy his father was to see him - it always warmed his heart and made him feel so incredibly lucky to have a father who loved him as much as Burt did.

“I’m almost ready. In the meantime, there’s someone here who would like to talk to you.”

“Huh?” The intelligent reply was forgotten when his father pushed him gently towards the living room, which seemed to hold one more occupant.

Jess.

“Wait!” She gasped when he made two steps back, ready to flee the room. “I just want to talk, that’s all.” She bit her lip in uncertainty. “Please?”

Feeling like some kind of intruder in his own house - and him and Burt were going to have a long conversation about surprises, that’s for sure - Kurt perched at the edge of one of the armchairs and glued his gaze to the carpet.

“Okay. Okay,” Jess chanted, trying to give herself some courage. She pressed the front of her dress down, nervously, while she sat down back at the sofa. “So I guess the first thing I should say is how sorry I am.”

“What?” Kurt’s head snapped back up to look at her, surprise in his eyes. “What for?”

“For...everything?” She seemed less sure of herself and fidgeted a bit. “Listen, can you sit down next to me? It’s kind of hard to talk to you like this.”

Kurt frowned, but raised himself from his spot and carefully sat next to her, as if half expecting her to jump him for hurting her.

“I never really hated mutants. Or, I guess, I hated one of them,” She looked at her hands, wringing them slightly. “One of the mutants that my brother knew had telekinesis. There was a party and they all got drunk and he lost his control and...” She started talking faster and faster, as if afraid that if she stopped she wouldn’t be able to get it all out. “Five people ended up dead. My brother was one of them.”

“I’m so sorry,” Kurt trailed off truly meaning it. He knew what it felt like to loose someone so close to you.

“I never really thought about mutants before and then the accident happened. I was so angry... So very angry, Kurt. I wanted to hurt someone for what happened to my brother and there was no one to blame, because that mutant was dead... and I guess I started blaming everyone else.”

Kurt could relate, somehow. When his powers manifested he wanted so much to have someone to blame that the anger almost consumed him inside.

“It happened some time ago, but I don’t think I was thinking clearly... at least not until you,” She blushed. “I met Blaine in the mall and he was charming and really clever and we clicked off right from the start. I guess you know how he talks, like everything suddenly makes a lot more sense and you could just listen to him for hours... And then I learned he was so very anti-mutant and it just seemed like a bonus,” She laughed bitterly. “God, how terrible does that sound? But it’s true; he showed me around, took me to the meetings and then to that demonstration and there you were.”

She shook his hand gently, relieved when he didn’t pull away.

“I didn’t understand. I didn’t know what it meant to be a mutant and how hard it is for so many of you, or how much of a bullies we were. I didn’t know. And now I don’t get how Blaine can continue down that road - if he ever had any feelings for you he should have understood.” She was crying now and Kurt felt like an ass all over again. She didn’t deserve any of it. “I don’t hate you Kurt. I don’t think I ever hated any mutant, not even the one who got my brother killed, because it was still an accident... I guess... I guess I was so very angry that I turned blind to some things.”

“It’s ok,” Kurt let his hand drop on her shoulder and rubbed it gently. “I know how that feels. I think I once was so full of hate and anger I would have gone crazy if I didn’t have someone to help me through it. I get it, I really do.”

“Your dad said you are an empath, that’s why you can send other people images and memories. Can you see mine?” She wiped her eyes with one hand, her other one still grasping his palm. “I would like to give you some proof that I am telling the truth.”

“No.” Kurt gave her a shy smile. “I don’t have to see through your memories to know if you are telling the truth. Comes with the whole mutant package.”

“Cool.” She smiled back, hesitantly.

Burt chose that moment to pop his head into the room.

“Is the coast clear?”

“Yes, dad,” Kurt laughed. “But you are not getting out of ‘the talk’ that we will have for plotting surprises.”

“Yes, yes,” Burt waved it off like it was nothing while he went to search for his good shoes.

“I should probably go,” Jess stood up. “Oh and by the way, once Blaine stopped puking his guts out, I totally slapped him for making me his beard.”

“Dad!” Kurt called out, still laughing so hard that his face turned an unflattering shade of red. “You think _Breadsticks_ can add one more to our reservation?”

**Author's Note:**

>  **Spoilers:** No real spoilers for Glee since this is an AU, but if you don’t already know who Blaine is then you must have been living under a rock. Some minor plot spoilers for ‘X-Men 3’
> 
> **Disclaimer:** I do not own any of the characters or the universes. 
> 
> **Beta:** devlinnreiko, who is, like, the most patient beta ever
> 
>  
> 
> This story will make much more sense if you read "Purple" and (especially) "You cling on to all the good times" first.
> 
> I swear to any deity you want, the idea of this fic struck me a long time before we even got any spoilers for “Pot o’gold”, much less about “Mash off”, so I had no idea Glee officially planned to do “Someone like you”. And if the song didn’t exist during the time of 3rd X-Men movie? Screw time continuity (Glee does that every week).
> 
> I still can’t believe I actually wrote a songfic :x


End file.
